
Safe conversations in an unsafe world
Troubled by what’s going on in our world? Wondering what you can do in response to all the social and political turmoil? Safe Conversations skills
Are you feeling stuck in your marriage? Having trouble communicating? Fighting over money issues? Frustrated in a sexless marriage? In conflict over differing parenting styles? I’m a relationship coach with over 25 years of experience and here are some of the best ways I can help:
I use Imago Relationship Therapy tools to help couples reconnect, rekindle, and re-envision their relationship as a partnership for mutual healing and growth. My office is in the heart of Silicon Valley (San Jose, CA USA), but I do a lot of coaching on Zoom. So wherever you are, I’d love to connect with you.
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Troubled by what’s going on in our world? Wondering what you can do in response to all the social and political turmoil? Safe Conversations skills
Most couples begin their journey with a dream of marital bliss. But somewhere within the first two years after saying “I do”, many get stuck
When Mark and Jennifer had a breakthrough in their marriage relationship, their joy was mixed with all kinds of regrets. Mark said, “Why couldn’t we
Sandy and I floundered in our relationship for many years simply because we did not “begin with the end in mind”. We lacked a shared
The COVID-19 crisis is forcing us as married couples to be together more than usual. Have you noticed how marriage problems you’ve avoided in the
“I’m going crazy working from home!” Tom said, sharing his frustration with the shelter in place mandate. His wife Janet retorted, “Well you’re making me
Most marriages start with the wonderful feelings of romance but soon descend into a power struggle that can be brutal. That’s when we say things
Sophia and Ian struggled for 11 years trying to make their marriage work. Despite their unhappiness and not feeling in love, they were committed to
John said Martha is “a tightwad”. And Martha called John “a spendthrift”. Can you relate to this married couple? Which one is right? The answer
Does your partner’s controlling behavior open up old wounds of feeling smothered by a controlling parent? Or does your partner’s emotional withdrawal trigger wounds of
Relationship science tells us that frustrations in your marriage that are recurring and that trigger an intense emotional reaction, come from your past, not your
Ron said, “I don’t want to be in a marriage where we never have sex!” Amy responded, “Well, I don’t want to be in a marriage where
If you are being nice in order to “keep the peace” in your marriage, that probably means you’re not talking about what you’re really feeling
Have you lost the feelings of love you once had? Are you longing for more passion in your marriage? Are you ready to call it
Some marriages get stuck in a brutal cycle of blaming and defensiveness. Blaming and defensiveness happens because of “symbiosis”, a state of living together as
Most of us see conflicts in our marriage as bad. But did you know that conflicts can bring us to new levels of healing and
Couples often say they have “communication” problems. In the video below, Rob and Janet show us how to communicate in a way that dissolves all
For years, Mary pleaded with Jim to work on their marriage, but Jim felt they didn’t need help. Eventually she gave up and made plans
Mike’s anxiety and depression got so bad he finally hit a wall. Having almost lost his marriage, he can now barely even function at work.
Ron and Amy were in a sexless marriage. Their sex life was almost non-existent. A marriage is considered “sexless” if a couple is only having
“Why is it that you get to be the Sugar Daddy, and I always have to be the ‘bad cop’, party pooper disciplinarian with the
Like many couples, you may be asking… “How did I marry the most incompatible person on the planet?” “Why could I not see who this
Sam and Anna were not happy in their marriage. One big reason was that self-rejection was blocking Anna’s ability to receive love from Sam. “No
Debbie said she had only one problem in her marriage! It was her husband, Will! “Our counselor told us Will has to work on himself
When Jenny discovered her husband Tom was visiting porn sites on the internet, trust was broken, and their relationship was suddenly on the rocks. That’s
Jim and Patty’s marriage was in conflict. Jim was a logical, “black and white” kind of thinker while his wife Patty was more sensitive to
If you’re thinking of divorce on the grounds of incompatibility, STOP and think again! Incompatibility is the grounds for a great relationship. Compatibility is actually
Experts cite communication problems as the number one reason marriages fail. But good communication in marriage is not enough, unless that communication leads you to a
When I suggest that a marriage conflict may stem from a childhood wound, some marriage partners protest. “Wounds from childhood? Not me. My parents were
We know emotional connection is important in marriage, but why? Here are five powerful benefits of emotional connection with your partner that you may not
Peter and Kathy had an amazing marriage breakthrough! But after a few months they found themselves stuck again in the same vicious cycle of blaming
Brent and Jewels Niccum went from being employees in a large corporation to being owners of a multinational company overnight! But despite their success in
Is it possible to be “too nice” in a relationship? Jennifer said, “I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells with my husband, Tom. Often
Did you know that most marriage partners regularly abuse each other? And they do it without even realizing it. What?! That’s right. There is an
So, you fell madly in love, and you were certain that “this is the one!” Right? But soon after you were married, “romantic love” faded,
Marriage is the best place for you to grow in ways you never would otherwise. It’s where you can, not only discover, but to also
If we are going to build our dream marriage we must understand the effect our childhood has on our relationship. Most couples describe their dream
We’ve been programmed to believe that conflicts in marriage are bad! That’s NOT true!! Conflicts in marriage can bring us to new levels of healing
Has your dream marriage turned into a nightmare? Are you facing the future with a hopeless feeling that nothing in your relationship will change? When
When Dennis and Marsha came to see me, their negativity toward each other was off the charts! Here are some steps they took to turn
Here’s how to stop the criticism and begin modeling a healthy marriage for your children. The first step is to… 1. Regulate your own reaction
Everyone said Stacey and Eric’s relationship was the perfect match. Their story shows how a silent killer called the “Still Face” almost ended their marriage.
Romance is a choice we can make every day! As a couple you can influence the way you feel about each other by reconstructing the
My business is finding marriage tools that work! So why, after so many years, do these tools not work for some people? Well, the answer
When we overreact to something our partner says or does, we kill any chance of connecting with them. The logic goes like this: The connection
It’s true! You can resolve every single frustration you have in your marriage…if you understand this one important reality: Behind every frustration is a wish.
So many couples are staying together in an unhappy marriage. When you ask how they’re doing, they’ll say, “OK”. That’s code for “I’ve settled”. In
Talking is only one part of the communication process in marriage. Real communication happens when we listen too. Duh? Really? I kind of knew that.
Gratitude will transform your marriage! And here’s a powerful tool that can make that happen! Believe it or not, one drop of negativity pollutes the
Is your marriage stuck in a vicious cycle of blaming and defensiveness? Here’s why that happens, and what to do about it. Marriages get stuck
Is your marriage relationship being sabotaged by outbursts of anger and overreaction? Does your own reaction drive you to pull away from your partner, causing
What happens to my marriage if I choose to be “nice” rather than honest? …if I go “silent” rather than confront an issue head on?
I’m not talking about moving out. I’m talking about taking seemingly innocent “exits” that rob your relationship. “Exits” are places where you go to get
If you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over again you’re probably not focused on what you really need to be talking
Marriage is supposed to be two people becoming one. Right? Two people striving for “mutual purpose” in their life together. But for us it was
“My husband’s destructive anger is wrecking our family! I can’t deal with his abuse any longer!” Tears filled Gina’s eyes as she explained what her
I was that husband avoiding conflict! Here are three powerful insights that helped me stop avoiding conflict, and start engaging in a way that led
This was our story! But we learned that with the right skills you can turn a marriage with conflicts into a relationship with a deeper
Does an affair mean the end of my relationship? Betrayal runs deep. Can I ever recover from this infidelity? Here are five steps that I’ve
Every marriage needs work. But what happens when a relationship goes flat and one partner is not willing to work on it? Is there hope
Marriage incompatibility can be transformed into an intimate partnership for healing and growth! Ever feel like you’re married to the most incompatible person on the
Wendy and Tom’s relationship was as passionate as it gets. At least it started out that way. When they were dating, they were crazy in
Couples fight for one fundamental reason: they bring their childhood defenses into their relationship. The way you learned to adapt and survive in childhood can
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Perplexed about problems in your marriage? Looking for solutions? “I didn’t know we had marriage troubles, but then, without any warning, she left!” “I felt a
Are you tired of angry outbursts and walking on eggshells in your relationship? Are conflicts keeping you from the closeness you want? Here is a
Marriage conflict is not only normal, it opens the door to your healing and wholeness! Experts tell us that compatibility with your partner is the
With 35-40% of all marriages ending in divorce, and only 10% report having a truly fulfilling relationship, is there a way to reverse this dismal
Has your relationship has lost some of its sizzle? Or worse yet, do you feel like the flame in your relationship is about to go
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