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Every Saturday morning (Sunday morning in Australia and New Zealand) I post an article with stories, insights, and practical tools to help your relationship.
Let me encourage you as a couple to start every Saturday morning by reading my post together and discussing it over coffee (or tea or bagels and lox or whatever you have in the morning :-))
Each article has links to the tools in the toolbox that you can download for free!
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Scroll the archives below for help for your relationship!
Reconnecting and Rekindling Your Marriage Relationship
Let me invite you to a new 3-week online course for couples entitled “Reconnecting and Rekindling Your Marriage Relationship”! In this course are two powerful…
Feeling stuck? Get back on track to your dream marriage
Most couples begin their journey with a dream of marital bliss. But somewhere within the first two years after saying “I do”, many get stuck…
When marriage conflicts do damage to your children
When Mark and Jennifer had a breakthrough in their marriage relationship, their joy was mixed with all kinds of regrets. Mark said, “Why couldn’t we…
Marriage works best when you begin with the end in mind
Sandy and I floundered in our relationship for many years simply because we did not “begin with the end in mind”. We lacked a shared…
Confronting the fear of intimacy that causes marriage problems
Underneath so many of our marriage problems is an unconscious fear of intimacy? “But,” you say, “I don’t have a fear of intimacy.” Did I…
Coronavirus forcing you to work from home? Use the crisis to strengthen your marriage
“I’m going crazy working from home!” Tom said, sharing his frustration with the shelter in place mandate. His wife Janet retorted, “Well you’re making me…
How is it possible for married partners to treat each other so badly?
Most marriages start with the wonderful feelings of romance but soon descend into a power struggle that can be brutal. That’s when we say things…
How to fall in love all over again with your marriage partner
Sophia and Ian struggled for 11 years trying to make their marriage work. Despite their unhappiness and not feeling in love, they were committed to…
Resolving the conflict over money in your marriage
John said Martha is “a tightwad”. And Martha called John “a spendthrift”. Can you relate to this married couple? Which one is right? The answer…
3 steps to healing the childhood wounds affecting your marriage
Does your partner’s controlling behavior open up old wounds of feeling smothered by a controlling parent? Or does your partner’s emotional withdrawal trigger wounds of…
Frustrations wrecking your marriage? Here’s what to do!
Relationship science tells us that frustrations in your marriage that are recurring and that trigger an intense emotional reaction, come from your past, not your…
VIDEO BLOG: The L.O.V.E. formula for revitalizing your sex life
Ron said, “I don’t want to be in a marriage where we never have sex!” Amy responded, “Well, I don’t want to be in a marriage where…
VIDEO BLOG: How being “too nice” is bad for your marriage and what to do about it.
If you are being nice in order to “keep the peace” in your marriage, that probably means you’re not talking about what you’re really feeling…
4 hacks to reignite passion, love, and happiness in your marriage
Have you lost the feelings of love you once had? Are you longing for more passion in your marriage? Are you ready to call it…
VIDEO BLOG: Breaking out of the cycle of blaming and defensiveness in your marriage
Some marriages get stuck in a brutal cycle of blaming and defensiveness. Blaming and defensiveness happens because of “symbiosis”, a state of living together as…
VIDEO BLOG: How to turn marriage conflicts into healing and growth opportunities
Most of us see conflicts in our marriage as bad. But did you know that conflicts can bring us to new levels of healing and…
VIDEO BLOG: Marriage communication that leads to connection
Couples often say they have “communication” problems. In the video below, Rob and Janet show us how to communicate in a way that dissolves all…
Does your partner want to leave you? Here are 9 things you can do to save your marriage
For years, Mary pleaded with Jim to work on their marriage, but Jim felt they didn’t need help. Eventually she gave up and made plans…
3 ways to help your partner overcome anxiety and depression that’s killing your marriage
Mike’s anxiety and depression got so bad he finally hit a wall. Having almost lost his marriage, he can now barely even function at work.…
Four steps to revitalizing your sex life
Ron and Amy were in a sexless marriage. Their sex life was almost non-existent. A marriage is considered “sexless” if a couple is only having…
How to become a great parenting team with your marriage partner
“Why is it that you get to be the Sugar Daddy, and I always have to be the ‘bad cop’, party pooper disciplinarian with the…
Is it marriage incompatibility…or do your differences have a deeper meaning?
Like many couples, you may be asking… “How did I marry the most incompatible person on the planet?” “Why could I not see who this…
Is self-rejection causing problems in your marriage? It’s more common than you think
Sam and Anna were not happy in their marriage. One big reason was that self-rejection was blocking Anna’s ability to receive love from Sam. “No…
How one husband transformed his marriage from a storm of conflict into a refuge of healing!
Debbie said she had only one problem in her marriage! It was her husband, Will! “Our counselor told us Will has to work on himself…
Help! My husband is a porn addict!
When Jenny discovered her husband Tom was visiting porn sites on the internet, trust was broken, and their relationship was suddenly on the rocks. That’s…
How to resolve marriage conflicts when one partner is “too logical” and the other “too emotional”
Jim and Patty’s marriage was in conflict. Jim was a logical, “black and white” kind of thinker while his wife Patty was more sensitive to…
Why did I marry the most incompatible person on the planet?
If you’re thinking of divorce on the grounds of incompatibility, STOP and think again! Incompatibility is the grounds for a great relationship. Compatibility is actually…
How to have the kind of marriage communication that leads to closer connection
Experts cite communication problems as the number one reason marriages fail. But good communication in marriage is not enough, unless that communication leads you to a…
What you may not know about the childhood wounds affecting your marriage
When I suggest that a marriage conflict may stem from a childhood wound, some marriage partners protest. “Wounds from childhood? Not me. My parents were…
5 things most people don’t know about emotional connection in marriage
We know emotional connection is important in marriage, but why? Here are five powerful benefits of emotional connection with your partner that you may not…
Want to live “happily ever after” in your marriage? Here’s something even better!
Peter and Kathy had an amazing marriage breakthrough! But after a few months they found themselves stuck again in the same vicious cycle of blaming…
Heal your marriage and you heal the world!
Brent and Jewels Niccum went from being employees in a large corporation to being owners of a multinational company overnight! But despite their success in…
Build your dream marriage part 7: Learn to be honest rather than “nice”
Is it possible to be “too nice” in a relationship? Jennifer said, “I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells with my husband, Tom. Often…
Build your dream marriage part 6: Rid your relationship of “invisible abuse”
Did you know that most marriage partners regularly abuse each other? And they do it without even realizing it. What?! That’s right. There is an…
Build your dream marriage part 5: Break out of the prison of self-absorption
So, you fell madly in love, and you were certain that “this is the one!” Right? But soon after you were married, “romantic love” faded,…
Build your dream marriage part 4: Be willing to grow into more of who you really are
Marriage is the best place for you to grow in ways you never would otherwise. It’s where you can, not only discover, but to also…
Build your dream marriage part 3: Understand how your childhood affects your relationship
If we are going to build our dream marriage we must understand the effect our childhood has on our relationship. Most couples describe their dream…
Build your dream marriage part 2: Turn conflicts into healing and growth opportunities
We’ve been programmed to believe that conflicts in marriage are bad! That’s NOT true!! Conflicts in marriage can bring us to new levels of healing…
Build your dream marriage part 1: Reconnect your disconnected relationship
Has your dream marriage turned into a nightmare? Are you facing the future with a hopeless feeling that nothing in your relationship will change? When…
Turning marriage conflict into an opportunity for deeper connection
When Dennis and Marsha came to see me, their negativity toward each other was off the charts! Here are some steps they took to turn…
Is criticism wrecking your marriage and hurting your children? Here’s what to do!
Here’s how to stop the criticism and begin modeling a healthy marriage for your children. The first step is to… 1. Regulate your own reaction…
Dealing with the silent killer of your marriage relationship
Everyone said Stacey and Eric’s relationship was the perfect match. Their story shows how a silent killer called the “Still Face” almost ended their marriage.…
Romantic love fades away but romance never has to end!
Romance is a choice we can make every day! As a couple you can influence the way you feel about each other by reconstructing the…
Why the best relationship tools to improve your marriage don’t work
My business is finding marriage tools that work! So why, after so many years, do these tools not work for some people? Well, the answer…
How to stop overreacting and start reconnecting in my marriage
When we overreact to something our partner says or does, we kill any chance of connecting with them. The logic goes like this: The connection…
How to resolve every single frustration in your marriage
It’s true! You can resolve every single frustration you have in your marriage…if you understand this one important reality: Behind every frustration is a wish.…
Don’t settle for an “OK” marriage”! Ask for what you need!
So many couples are staying together in an unhappy marriage. When you ask how they’re doing, they’ll say, “OK”. That’s code for “I’ve settled”. In…
How being a good listener can radically improve your marriage
Talking is only one part of the communication process in marriage. Real communication happens when we listen too. Duh? Really? I kind of knew that.…
Unleashing the transforming power of gratitude in your marriage
Gratitude will transform your marriage! And here’s a powerful tool that can make that happen! Believe it or not, one drop of negativity pollutes the…
How to break the cycle of blaming and defensiveness in your marriage
Is your marriage stuck in a vicious cycle of blaming and defensiveness? Here’s why that happens, and what to do about it. Marriages get stuck…
How can I stop being so reactive in my marriage relationship?
Is your marriage relationship being sabotaged by outbursts of anger and overreaction? Does your own reaction drive you to pull away from your partner, causing…
The Art of Caring Confrontation
What happens to my marriage if I choose to be “nice” rather than honest? …if I go “silent” rather than confront an issue head on?…
What to do when your marriage partner keeps “leaving the relationship”
I’m not talking about moving out. I’m talking about taking seemingly innocent “exits” that rob your relationship. “Exits” are places where you go to get…
You won’t solve your marriage problem by talking about the problem! Here’s why
If you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over again you’re probably not focused on what you really need to be talking…
Hindsight is 20/20! What I wish I’d known 40 years ago about mutual purpose
Marriage is supposed to be two people becoming one. Right? Two people striving for “mutual purpose” in their life together. But for us it was…
How a husband’s destructive anger was transformed into passionate love
“My husband’s destructive anger is wrecking our family! I can’t deal with his abuse any longer!” Tears filled Gina’s eyes as she explained what her…
What do I do when my husband is avoiding conflict?
I was that husband avoiding conflict! Here are three powerful insights that helped me stop avoiding conflict, and start engaging in a way that led…
Our marriage fights began on the honeymoon! Is there any hope for us?
This was our story! But we learned that with the right skills you can turn a marriage with conflicts into a relationship with a deeper…
How can my marriage survive an affair?
Does an affair mean the end of my relationship? Betrayal runs deep. Can I ever recover from this infidelity? Here are five steps that I’ve…
What if my husband is unwilling to work on our marriage?
Every marriage needs work. But what happens when a relationship goes flat and one partner is not willing to work on it? Is there hope…
Why incompatibility is the basis for a great marriage
Marriage incompatibility can be transformed into an intimate partnership for healing and growth! Ever feel like you’re married to the most incompatible person on the…
Need a marriage resurrection? How to go from “flatlined” to “fully-alive”
Wendy and Tom’s relationship was as passionate as it gets. At least it started out that way. When they were dating, they were crazy in…
What to do when childhood defenses sabotage your relationship
Couples fight for one fundamental reason: they bring their childhood defenses into their relationship. The way you learned to adapt and survive in childhood can…
Feel trapped in a sexless marriage? Here’s how to change that!
What if you could transform your sexless marriage into one where you “make love” all the time? “Not possible, Chuck!” But it IS possible, when…
4 warning signs your marriage is in trouble (and what to do about it)
Perplexed about problems in your marriage? Looking for solutions? “I didn’t know we had marriage troubles, but then, without any warning, she left!” “I felt a…
How to stop a relationship conflict dead in its tracks
Are you tired of angry outbursts and walking on eggshells in your relationship? Are conflicts keeping you from the closeness you want? Here is a…
Conflict is a sign you married the right person!
Marriage conflict is not only normal, it opens the door to your healing and wholeness! Relationship expert Dr. Harville Hendrix tells us that “compatibility with…
What if we could see the divorce rate drop to 10% in 10 years?
With 35-40% of all marriages ending in divorce, and only 10% report having a truly fulfilling relationship, is there a way to reverse this dismal…
The secret that will reignite passion in your relationship
Has your relationship has lost some of its sizzle? Or worse yet, do you feel like the flame in your relationship is about to go…