Heal your marriage and you heal the world!

Brent and Jewels Niccum went from being employees in a large corporation to being owners of a multinational company overnight!

But despite their success in business, they had trouble keeping their marriage on track.

Through the Imago Relationship counseling process, they discovered that the reactivity toward each other that was wrecking their relationship was based in their unconscious defenses that had been in place since childhood.

It didn’t take them long to figure it out, dismantle those defenses, and reconnect.

Like everything else they did in life, they worked hard on their marriage.

Soon they had a breakthrough, and now they are on a solid path toward, not only a healing and growth partnership, but a partnership to change the world through their life work together.

Brent and Jewels Niccum

When a couple in conflict learns to reconnect, they recover all the time and energy previously wasted in that conflict.

That’s when they look for some way to work together to make the world a better place.

Brent and Jewels are living in what I call the World Impact Stage of marriage. Having moved through the Power Struggle Stage into a Mature Love, they now have a great foundation in place to be effective co-creators in their life work.

A Couple's Journey

How did they get there?

By learning to consistently talk without criticism, listen without judgement, and connect beyond their differences.

Soon both of their sons, Lew and Cole, along with their families, began to join them on this journey toward healing and wholeness.

Niccum Family

One day Jewels asked me, “Can you help us do for our company what we’ve done for our marriage and family?”

That’s when we introduced Crucial Conversations® Training to NCCM Company.

This ongoing training and coaching has become a foundational piece in developing a healthy corporate culture that is having an impact on their employees, their customers, and their community.

NCCM Company Facility
NCCM Company, River Falls, WI USA

What Brent and Jewels realized was this:

“When we are dysfunctional in our marriage, everything under our charge will be dysfunctional in the same way. When we heal our marriage we can heal our family and our company.

“That’s because the same principles we’ve learned in our marriage apply in all our relationships. So our task is to teach everyone in our charge how to do what we are trying to do, not only at work, but everywhere in their personal relationships.”

After almost two years of training…

Overly aggressive employees have learned to listen and let others add to the collective wisdom of the team. This is resulting in better decisions and greater motivation.

Passive employees who would previously withdraw rather than confront a difficult situation are now bravely engaging in tough conversations with skills that help them to be both candid and respectful at the same time. This is preventing costly log jams in the production process.

Needless to say productivity, profits, job satisfaction, and customer loyalty have all risen substantially.

And a whole new generation of young leaders are being developed to expand this global enterprise.

Brent’s and Jewels’ impact is spilling over into their community.

NCCM Transformation Foundation
NCCM Transformation Foundation

Through the NCCM Transformation Foundation they are joining hands with the community to do many things including care for the homeless in Minneapolis, to mentor children in Wisconsin, and train and coach a new generation of social entrepreneurs.

Here’s what inspires me about the Niccum’s story.

What if thousands of leaders in companies, government agencies, and educational institutions worldwide were to follow this example?

What if these leaders started with their marriages, learning to talk without criticism, to listen without judgement, and to connect beyond their differences.

And then, what if these leaders led their families and organizations to do the same? We could see a revolution of remedies for our world’s ills!

Healing our world starts with us as couples.

What about you?

Will you join with us in this revolution? Please let us know in the comment section below!

Heal your marriage and you heal the world!

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Author: Chuck

Chuck Starnes is a relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples find the safety, connection, passion and full-aliveness they are looking for together. He also helps organizations become more productive by improving relationship and communication skills.

2 thoughts on “Heal your marriage and you heal the world!”

  1. Thanks for this post Chuck! Since I’ve been in this journey of learning and growing, I’ve learned so many insights that I believe are so important to relationship success, yet that are not taught in schools or in our culture. I wonder how the average person is supposed to know these things – maybe not until they have big relationship struggles that drive them to look to books and counseling. As a teacher I’ve thought about how I might be able to use that platform to teach students about this important relationship stuff too…. Anyway, it’s really neat how this couple uses their platform to equip their employees. To me, that truly shows care for ones employees – not just their performance but their relationship with each other on the job and also their personal relationship happiness. Very cool!

    1. Thank you Jen for your comments. As I’ve been on the same journey for a while now I’m asking the same question! Why didn’t we learn about this in school?!! There should be four “R’s”! Reading wRiting aRithmetic and Relationships! Brent and Jewels Niccum are a great example and there is a growing awareness of this need in business. Many of my clients tell me about training they’re having at work in emotional IQ and programs like Crucial Conversations® Training. So it’s happening. It would be interesting for you as an educator to explore how you can help lead and advance what I called in the post a “revolution of remedies for the world’s ills”. These things all clear up when our relationships get cleaned up. So let me encourage you to think about what could happen within the educational system and let us know about it. Let’s keep the conversation going!

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