INSTRUCTION: Overcoming Unconscious Defenses Copy

One reason we have a hard time identifying issues in our marriage is because the defenses blocking our communication are unconscious. And whenever we find ourselves reacting emotionally to the same things repeatedly, it’s an indication that our issues are rooted in our childhood experiences.

In this session we will learn how to identify and dissolve childhood defenses that are blocking our ability to connect with each other.

Watch the video and discuss it with the questions below.


1. In what ways do you seem to activate each others’ emotional reactions and push each others’ buttons?

2. What is your “fighting style”? What is your partner’s? Do you tend to be a maximizer (hailstorm) or minimizer (turtle)? Explain.

3. How does your partner’s fighting style affect you? How does your fighting style affect your partner?

4. Discuss ways the Couples Dialogue can help you disrupt unconscious reactivity and enable you to stay curious, conscious, and present with your partner during conflict.

After your discussion…

Mark CompleteĀ and proceed to Next Topic.